


read between my lines (just tell me already)

by heartsighed



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drinking to Cope, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Underage Drinking, i don't even know not really, it happens like once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7615507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsighed/pseuds/heartsighed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hongbin and Wonsik are dumb roommates in college. Almost everyone has heard or heard of Wonsik's secret new homework assignment. Hongbin embraces the dead college student aesthetic. Jaehwan thinks it's all very funny, but he gives good advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	read between my lines (just tell me already)

**Author's Note:**

> this is purely self-indulgent
> 
> 1\. it ended up so long and terrible i'm sorry  
> 2\. suspension of disbelief applies to basically everything (I used an american college semester system because I am more familiar with it. who knows where they actually are)

Hongbin could feel his blood pressure rising from the moment he stepped into the living room of his shared apartment.

After staying up all night in the library with Chansik, his eyes were bloodshot and sore. He probably should have been more worried about how his hands wouldn’t stop trembling, but he was too busy gaping at the mounds of trash currently decorating the living room.

The living room that Hongbin had just cleaned two nights ago.

And they weren't even a month into the new semester.

 _Cool it, man_ , he warned himself. _Remember what Hakyeon-hyung did to Taekwoon-hyung that one time he got angry and made a hole in the wall. Do you want to go to anger-management classes?_

The answer was no, so Hongbin took deep breaths and exhaled from his mouth until he wasn’t seeing red anymore. It took a while, as he kept inhaling the pungent stench of stale Chinese takeout and alcohol.

“It’s too early for this,” Hongbin whimpered, pulling up a stray shirt from where it had been tossed over a putrid container of sweet and sour pork.

As if in agreement, a snore rumbled from where his roommate of two years and counting was sprawled on the couch, long limbs dangling precariously off the edge.

“Oh fuck no.” Hongbin narrowed his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he planted his arms under the heavy boy’s torso and lifted until he tumbled off the couch with a startled snort. Taking a deep breath, Hongbin roared, “Wonsik! WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

Wonsik scrambled to his feet, and for the first time, Hongbin realized he was wearing nothing but a thin, loose v-neck and his old bunny boxers with the fading pastel rabbits on the waistband ( _When did I start thinking bunny boxers were hot?_ Hongbin rolled his eyes to the ceiling. _Pathetic, Lee Hongbin. Get ahold of yourself_ ).

“Wonsik,” Hongbin spoke again once he was calm.

“Yes,” the boy yelped, staring holes into the couch. “I’m sorry, Binnie, for not cleaning up last night.”

“You better be thankful that I’m willing to help,” Hongbin sniffed. The sad truth was Hongbin could never resist Wonsik’s droopy eyes and the slight jut of his lower lip (especially not when he said Hongbin’s pet name in that deep voice), but Sanghyuk would tease him to no end if he ever admitted it aloud.

"Thank you," Wonsik sighed with relief.

“What happened?” Hongbin contemplated a stain in one of the cushions, stripping the pillow and throwing the case aside to wash later. “You’re not one to drink this much normally.”

“Ah,” Wonsik stopped where he was walking to the kitchen, arms laden with beer cans. “Taemin and Jongin came over for a pity party. Wheein broke up with me.”

Hongbin froze. “What.”

“Wheein broke up with me,” Wonsik repeated.

“No,” Hongbin waved impatiently, following him to the counter. “What the fuck? You guys were still in your honeymoon stage. It’s only been what, six weeks?”

“Five,” Wonsik corrected, staring hard down at the beer can still in his hand. “It’s okay. At least we didn’t get serious before she broke it off.”

“Why didn’t you text me?” Hongbin was raising a hand to pat Wonsik’s shoulder when he realized the other boy’s bottom lip had started trembling. He paused, then dropped his hand. _Oh fuck._

“It’s okay,” Wonsik repeated. His voice sounded thick. “You haven't seen Chansik all summer. I know you missed him.”

Hongbin rolled his eyes. “It’s not like we’re dating, Wonsik. Besides, I can study with him until my brains explode whenever I want.”

From the side, Hongbin could see the wetness beading up at the inner corners of Wonsik’s eyes. Scrunching his face up in a way that Hongbin definitely should not have thought was cute, he turned and wrapped his arms around Hongbin’s neck, sniffling into his shoulder.

Despite his earlier hesitation, Hongbin dutifully brought his hands up to pat his best friend’s back and stroke the back of his head. “I’m sorry, Wonsik. I know you liked her a lot.”

He ignored how firm Wonsik’s muscles felt under his palm, and he definitely didn’t think about how he could feel their skin pressed together through the thin fabric of their shirts. Wonsik reeked of garlic, teriyaki sauce, and booze, but it wasn't like Hongbin had showered in the past forty-eight hours either. If he pressed his nose into Wonsik’s shoulder, he could still sniff out the familiar scent of his cheap detergent.

“She was so nice,” Wonsik hiccupped, wiping his eyes on Hongbin’s collar (Goddammit he should’ve been mad) and nuzzling at the small patch of skin on his neck. “And I liked that she laughed a lot. She laughed at everything, even my dumb jokes.” His voice cracked, and he hugged Hongbin just a little closer, not too hard, but enough for the remaining air to rush out of Hongbin’s lungs. “I thought it would last longer.”

Hongbin had thought the same, but he wasn't exactly as upset as Wonsik was with the current circumstances.

“Oh, Wonsik,” Hongbin breathed. His voice was soft, not because he intended to sound so comforting or sympathetic, but because he really couldn’t summon enough air to speak louder.

“I know,” Wonsik sighed, the slightest puff of breath against the skin of Hongbin’s neck, and he had to fight the urge to shiver. “I should be more careful with who I ask out, like you always tell me.”

"Yeah." Hongbin gave Wonsik's head a few more pats.

\--

"Late, Han Sanghyuk."

Hongbin giggled behind his hand as the gangly freshman bowed clumsily, flashing an endearing smile, and stomped up the rows of the lecture hall. As he plopped into the seat next to Hongbin, the professor began his dull droning where he had left off.

"Good morning, hyung," Sanghyuk whispered as he stuck a warm cup of coffee over Hongbin's notes, and Hongbin tried to muffle the groan of relief that rose in his throat.

"Thanks, kid," Hongbin ruffled his hair until the black strands stuck up on his head.

"Sure, hyung," Sanghyuk replied as he shuffled a few blank sheets of notebook paper and turned to start copying Hongbin's notes. "I understand completely. You're getting old, so you need something to sustain your flagging energy."

Hongbin froze with the cup lifted to his lips, glaring at the freshman. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"Seriously, though, hyung," Sanghyuk said solemnly. "Maybe you should start eating ginseng like Hakyeon-hyung. I hear it's good for the elderly."

"Shut the fuck up, Han Sanghyuk," Hongbin scowled, sipping on his coffee. He shuddered as warmth spiraled down into his stomach, feeling marginally more human in the harsh early morning cold. As he brought the cup up again, his finger brushed against the beginning of a sprinkle of stubble on his chin and he made a mental note to shave soon. "You're lucky it's only 8 o'clock, or I would've thrown you out the window already."

Sanghyuk had been an underclassman on the dance team in Wonsik and Hongbin's old high school. That was back when Hongbin still danced, before his bold decision to double minor in college had inundated him with schoolwork and stress. Despite the first year's obnoxious teasing, Hongbin was glad to have someone to trade notes with in the intro to writing seminar he had put it off his first and second years in favor of a few photography and biology courses. Not that he regretted it. Especially not when he went through his old portfolios, stored carefully in white plastic binders on his bookshelf. Some of his best work, the professors had said.

After two long hours in the damp, molding lecture hall, they packed up their bags and joined the throng of students rushing to inhale fresh air. Sanghyuk waved goodbye as they set foot on the stone steps outside the building, sprinting off to make a lab at ten.

Hongbin, meanwhile, didn't have his next class until two in the afternoon. He had been planning to study in the library, but he was tired of sitting in musty rooms. The sky was cloudy gray, but at least the air was fresh.

Finding an empty bench in front of the student center at this time of year was hard given the pleasant weather and brilliant gradient of trees transitioning from lush green to brilliant reds and yellows, but Hongbin managed it after a few minutes. Setting his books down neatly on the ground, he lay back lengthwise on the bench, pillowing his head with his backpack, and closed his eyes. After a few minutes of shifting, he managed to find a semi-comfortable position with the sunken side of the backpack under his ear and the collar of his jacket pulled up to hide his prickly chin.

"Boo!" Something warm closed around Hongbin's nose, squeezing it as Hongbin let out a muffled scream and toppled off the side. Squinting up, he recognized the face grinning down at him.

"Wonsik!" he gasped, sitting up and fixing the boy with a glare. "You scared me." He got to his feet, brushing off his pants and shaking dirt out of his hair before sitting down on the bench, this time to the side so Wonsik could sit next to him. "What time is it?"

Wonsik opened his phone to show Hongbin, "Twelve."

"Shit, I fell asleep," Hongbin bolted to his feet, bending to pick up his books. He froze when a warm hand wrapped around his wrist his wrist.

"God, you're cold. Why are you in such a rush?" Wonsik was frowning. "Your next class isn't until two."

Hongbin refused to let himself dwell on the fact that Wonsik had memorized his schedule. "I need to study."

"But you've been studying all week and the semester just started," Wonsik whined. Hongbin was glad that the cold made his cheeks rosy enough to mask the blush that spread when the grip on his wrist tightened. "Come hang out with me. I'll treat you to coffee." It wasn't a date, but it was very close.

"Oh." _Stop looking at his puppy eyes, Hongbin, he's doing it on purpose._ "Okay." _Fuck._

Hongbin nearly cried when Wonsik bent down and scooped his scattered books under an arm, curling long fingers around Hongbin's wrist. It wasn't a date, but he could dream.

\--

"Oh, Wonsikkie! Bin!" An ear-piercing shriek greeted them as they entered the coffee shop.

Jaehwan took one look at Wonsik's hand on Hongbin's wrist and smirked.

Wonsik waved at the barista. Hongbin reluctantly wriggled his wrist from Wonsik's clasp so he could slip off his jacket. The shop was fairly busy, but there was no line forming behind the register yet, so they lingered to chat with the barista.

"Hi, Jaehwan-hyung," Wonsik grinned. "Look who I dragged in."

"I'm sure it didn't take too much convincing to get him to come with you." Jaehwan's smirk widened as Hongbin glared from behind Wonsik's back. "What can I get for you today?"

"Vanilla latte for me," Wonsik said.

"Ok. Are you buying for Bin too?" Jaehwan glanced at Hongbin, winking.

"We're paying separately," Hongbin grit his teeth. "I want a green tea latte. Please."

"Aww, I thought for a moment Hongbinnie might have gotten a date," Jaehwan cooed.

"It's just me, hyung," Wonsik laughed. "Besides, Binnie's too busy studying to find dates nowadays."

"It's okay, _Binnie_ , hyung will love you!" Jaehwan reached over the register before Hongbin could react, wrapping his arms around his neck and planting a sopping wet kiss on his cheek.

"Oh, Hyung, that's fucking _gross_!" Hongbin cried, jerking away as Jaehwan cackled. He frantically scrubbed at the saliva on his cheek.

"I bet hyung's just upset that you've been ignoring us in favor of studying." Wonsik turned to Jaehwan. "Taekwoon-hyung never even sees him anymore outside of volunteering."

"Oh, really?" Jaehwan looked surprised. "I've been seeing Bin around a lot, though."

"What?" Wonsik turned to look at Hongbin accusingly. "Have you been studying at the coffee shop without me?"

"Oh," Jaehwan looked between the two of them, and a Cheshire grin spread over his face. "Not in the coffee shop." He glanced at Hongbin, lazy and slow, then shifted his eyes down to a purple and green bruise at the base of Hongbin's neck that hadn't previously been visible under his jacket. Wonsik followed his gaze to gape at the hickey just as Hongbin slapped a hand over it, flushing red with embarrassment.

"W-why don't you go find us a table, Wonsik," Hongbin blurted. "I'll get your drink when Jaehwan finishes it."

"Oh." Wonsik licked his lips, flicking his eyes toward Jaehwan. "Okay, sure."

"Oh my god," Hongbin hissed once he was out of hearing distance. "Why did you have to do that, hyung? He's totally suspicious now."

"Well yeah," Jaehwan said in a duh tone, partially hidden behind the coffee machine, as he poured steaming milk into a cup. "You have to tell him sometime, Hongbinnie."

"I always tell you not to leave marks," Hongbin griped, ignoring him. "But you never fucking listen."

"Sorry." Jaehwan didn't sound sorry at all.

By the time Jaehwan finished both drinks, a line rapidly forming at the register was calling for his attention. Hongbin dawdled by the counter for another minute, plucking napkins from the dispenser one by one.

Wonsik started as Hongbin placed his drink in front of him. Hongbin hovered for a moment before pulling out the seat across from him, eyes slanting to the side.

"Hey, Bin."

"Hm?"

"Are," Wonsik hesitated. "Are you and Jaehwan-hyung dating?"

Hongbin choked and spit out his drink. Thankfully, it wasn't a lot, so none of it landed on Wonsik. "No!" he half-yelled, lowering his tone when a few other patrons glanced at him curiously. "No no no no. We are definitely not dating!"

"You know you can tell me if you are, right?" Wonsik said a bit anxiously. His shoulders slumped slightly.

"I'm not hiding it from you," Hongbin shook his head. "I'm serious; we're not."

"Okay," Wonsik said slowly and blinked, his eyes flickering to the bruise at Hongbin's neck.

Before he could speak again, a hand with long pastel-painted nails landed on his shoulder. Hongbin looked up to see a very pretty girl, eyes ringed with sparkling shadow and hair curled neatly into a bun. In her other hand, she held a folder that Hongbin recognized from one of Wonsik's composition courses.

"Oh, thank you!" Wonsik blushed and offered her a sheepish smile of thanks. Hongbin tried not to roll his eyes when she smiled back. "I don't know what I would've done if I lost this!"

"It's no problem," she shook her head shyly, holding his gaze, as Wonsik slowly turned redder.

"He's always losing his things," Hongbin interrupted, laughing playfully. He leaned his chin on his hand and turned to the girl, flashing the smile that he knew showed off his dimples and melted hearts. "He's lucky someone so pretty picked up his folder for him, though."

The girl flushed, stuttered, and turned right back to Wonsik.

A minute later, she still hadn't left, and Wonsik was starting to resemble a beet. Hongbin decided to excuse himself to the bathroom just as they discovered that she, too, was in the music program.

When he came back with a crease on his forehead, Jaehwan was looking at him, lips curved in an amused smile. Hongbin sat at the bar in front of the coffee machine, staring moodily at the girl.

"Way to be subtle," Jaehwan remarked as he bustled around, making another drink.

"Her nails are too long," Hongbin said snottily. "And her perfume smells too strong."

"You keep telling yourself that," Jaehwan scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Anyway, are you still up to meet Wednesday evening?"

"Oh, right," Hongbin checked off a mental schedule. "Yeah, I'm down. I'll let Wonsik know I won't be back for dinner."

"You sure, Bin?" Jaehwan pursed his lips. "I mean, it's a lot of fun, but Wonsik probably knows now, and I don't want you getting hurt because of a fling."

"Yeah, it's fine," Hongbin sighed. "He wouldn't really be upset anyway."

The girl looked like she was about to leave, so Hongbin sauntered back to the table, giving her another one of his winning smiles, and she almost tripped while turning around and bolting for the door.

"Man, how do you do that?" Wonsik demanded as he sat down. "I always get too nervous when I talk to girls."

"Do what?" Hongbin stared at him with wide eyes over the rim of his cup.

Wonsik snorted, "You know, the smile. That one that makes people swoon left and right."

"It's not like it works," Hongbin pouted. "That girl was a lot more interested in you and your composition classes than my smile."

"She was scared. You intimidated her."

"What?" Hongbin frowned, baffled. "I was trying to be nice." _And get her to stop flirting with you._

"You're too handsome," Wonsik said matter-of-factly, and Hongbin hates that he feels warm from that little comment ( _pathetic, Lee Hongbin_ ). "She was intimidated."

"Does it work on you, then?" Hongbin gulped another mouthful of coffee, cursing the words as they left his mouth.

"Of course not, I know the real you," Wonsik scoffed, then smiled affectionately. "Besides, you look nicer when you smile normally."

Hongbin coughed and resolutely ignored Jaehwan cracking up behind the coffee machine.

\--

“You’re so fucked, Bin.”

Jaehwan shook his head, and Hongbin buried his face in his hands because it was seven on a goddamn Thursday morning and too early for Jaehwan to be giving him shit over his emotional constipation in the middle of a run-down diner.

After a long minute, Hongbin dragged his hands down his face slowly so his eyes rolled back and he pulled the skin of his cheeks down. Jaehwan speared a sausage and chomped down on the end, completely unconcerned.

Hongbin groaned.

“You know, you’re gonna get wrinkles on that perfect face if you do that,” Jaehwan said. He waved the bitten-off sausage in his face, spraying meat and fennel as he spoke.

Hongbin winced. “Close your mouth while you’re chewing, hyung.”

“Please. Let’s talk about the real problem here,” Jaehwan snorted as he moved on to the scrambled eggs, and a bit of cheese flew onto Hongbin’s chin. “You,” he motioned at Hongbin with a forkful of eggs, “are angsting over your love-boner for your longtime friend and roommate while having post-hookup breakfast with me,” the eggs swung around to point at Jaehwan, “your friend and part-time friend with benefits, who is also friends with love-boner-boy.”

“Please don’t call Wonsik love-boner-boy,” Hongbin deadpanned. “That is not something I ever want to hear again.”

“The worse part of this is that he’s self aware of the love-boner,” Jaehwan told the eggs sadly before throwing them in his mouth. He turned his attention back to Hongbin. “Anyway, it’s not like he’s not available anymore. It’s already been like a week since he broke up with his girlfriend.”

“Wheein broke up with him,” Hongbin corrected. Jaehwan rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. The point is, they’re over, right? So just go over and confess your love to Wonsik now that he’s single, talk it out, and boom, emotional constipation solved.”

“You forget the part where I get fucking rejected,” Hongbin hissed. “Because all I am to Wonsik is his best friend. And then he’ll be all awkward around me and nothing will ever be the same again.”

Jaehwan paused where he was shoveling hash browns into his face and raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think Wonsik thinks that little of your friendship, Bin?” he asked.

No. The answer was no. Given how much of a softie Hongbin’s best friend was, he would definitely try to make it seem like not a big deal and act like normal, maybe even try and pretend to reciprocate his feelings to make him feel better. But he would also no doubt be more careful, more reserved, and Hongbin would rather let himself be sliced with jealousy forever than watch Wonsik cry over his heartbreak on someone else’s shoulder.

Hongbin pushed his lips tight together, punching holes into the untouched stack of soggy pancakes on his plate with his fork.

Jaehwan sighed, and his tone was gentler when he spoke again, “It’s not healthy to keep doing this to yourself, Bin. I know it’s hard to risk your current relationship dynamic to initiate change, but just think about it.” He put down his fork and rested his chin on his fist. “I might fool around with you, but don’t forget I’m also your friend. It hurts to see you so broken up like this.”

“I'm fine,” Hongbin said stubbornly. “I might feel like shit for a while until I get over it, but I like being friends with Wonsik more than I want to date him.”

“Okay,” Jaehwan said wearily. “Then how do you plan on getting over it aside from telling him? It's been years, Bin. What makes you think you'll ever be able to keep it a secret for that long? All the pressure of bottling it up is really wearing you down. You need to unload a little.”

“What do you think we were doing last night?” Hongbin glowered.

“Fine,” Jaehwan rolled his eyes. “If you think you can use us fucking around as some kind of messed up release from your Wonsik problems, think again. It’s been fun, but I’m don’t exactly want to be an enabler for your self-inflicted abuse, man. You can either go find someone else to sleep with, or tell Wonsik how you feel about him.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Hongbin spluttered. “My feelings for Wonsik are my business, not yours.”

“It’s not really fair of you to say that, Bin,” Jaehwan’s eyes narrow. “They’re my business if you’re using sex with me as a substitute for your pent up feelings for your best friend.”

“Fine,” Hongbin spit, rising to his feet. His fork clattered as he threw it on the table. “Fucking fine. I’ll go find someone else to fuck if you’re gonna get so intrusive about this.” Slamming a few bills on the table to cover his food, he shoved his wallet into his sweats, storming out before he could regret his words.

The apartment was empty when Hongbin got back. Throwing his hoodie on the couch, he stomped into the kitchen and let the fridge door bounce on the counter when he opened it.

Grabbing the two percent milk, he chugged it straight from the carton rebelliously. _God_ , Jaehwan got on his nerves, sometimes. Fine. Whatever. Hongbin had lots of other friends and he was cleaned up more than well enough to find a lay if he really needed to. No loss.

A pink post-it note fluttered to the tiled floor as he slammed the fridge shut, catching his eye.

_Working on a new track at Taekwoon-hyung’s place. I’ll be back after I check out that dance place I told you about. Text me what you want me to bring back for dinner!! -Sikkie_

He swallowed another mouthful of milk, trying to wash down the bitter taste of regret at the back of his throat, and finally sighed.

_I’m such a coward._

\--

[9:14am] Hongbin: pasta

\--

The private animal shelter were Hongbin and Taekwoon worked part-time was a twenty minute walk from Hongbin's apartment. Hongbin had been the one to introduce Taekwoon to the place when he heard at the end of his first year of volunteering that they were looking for employees. While Taekwoon was studying for a graduate degree in music composition and had taken on the job to help pay rent for the place he shared with Hakyeon, he adored the cute puppies and kittens more than he liked let on in front of Hongbin.

Now, Taekwoon was looking on with barely concealed envy as Hongbin got along with the animals effortlessly. "They really like you, Bin."

"I know," Hongbin smiled, cooing at a bird as it twisted its head for him to pat with a finger. "I like them too."

"Honestly, some of the dogs love you more than they like me, but I come in more," Taekwoon muttered, staring at a box of cat litter balefully.

"Well, I have been around longer," Hongbin laughed, running his fingers down a purring tabby's back. "I think I might quit soon, though."

"What, why?" Taekwoon looked up, surprised.

"My grades haven't been that great," Hongbin said ruefully. "I need to make more time to study."

Taekwoon frowned. "Why are you majoring in business, anyway? You don't even like it."

"I don't know what else I would want to do," Hongbin bent down to pick up a kitten, chewing on his lip. "Obviously, photography doesn't offer a lot of stable career choices. My parents just worry."

"I sure you don't have one single area of study that you love more than business," Taekwoon deadpanned. "You hate econ like it's the plague."

"I'm working on two minors, if you haven't noticed."

Taekwoon rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "Yes, I have noticed. Photography might not have a lot of career opportunities, but what about biology?"

 _Accounting runs in the family_ , his parents had said. _Your father was an accountant_ , Hongbin reminded himself. "Accounting is fine."

"Don't be afraid to think about your options, Bin." Taekwoon fixed him with a hard stare.

"Okay, hyung," Hongbin stood and brushed off his pants, glancing at the clock. It was a little past eight, so Wonsik was probably home from practice already. He untied his apron. "I will."

"Alright." Taekwoon's normally impassive expression broke into a small smile as he ruffled Hongbin's hair fondly. "Go clock off and get home. It's late."

"It's okay," Hongbin called over his shoulder. "Wonsik's bringing dinner home, so I don't have to cook."

The lights were on when he reached the apartment. He toed his shoes off, his stomach grumbling softly at the smell of meat sauce wafting from the kichen. "I'm back!" he called, bouncing on his toes as he inhaled.

"Welcome back," Wonsik greeted him with a mouthful of spaghetti, perched on the counter. A month ago, when Taekwoon had first moved into his current apartment with Hakyeon, he had gifted them with his old coffee table, which they had set in the center of the living room. After a year of living without, though, they both found sitting on the counter more comfortable, even when they still sometimes cracked their heads on the cabinets leaning back. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

"The pasta smells really good," Hongbin groaned, grabbing a fork and checking the drawer shut with his hip. "I'm starving."

"It's still warm." Wonsik slurped up another mouthful as Hongbin hopped up to sit next to him. "I just got back from practice."

"Ew, you're sweaty. Gross." Hongbin wrinkled his nose, but wiggled close enough for their arms and thighs to tough anyway.

Wonsik opened his mouth, exposing half-chewed pasta, and garbled exaggeratedly at him, bending his head down and pretending to rub forehead sweat onto Hongbin's shirt. Hongbin burst out laughing and slapped his arm.

“Binnie, guess what?” Wonsik swallowed and raised his head, eyes sparkling.

“What?” Hongbin ignored the way his heart skipped as Wonsik grinned, tiny bits of chives stuck to his teeth.

“I really liked the new dance place!” Wonsik said around a mouthful of noodles. “Hakyeon-hyung was right. There’s a lot of good talent there.”

“Ah, really?” Hongbin smiled, enjoying the warmth that bloomed in his gut at Wonsik’s enthusiastic nods, his fluffy silver hair flopping with excitement. So cute.

“Yeah, I made a friend already. He’s really sweet,” Wonsik mumbled and looked down with a small smile to himself, and the warmth was gone.

Hongbin had seen this pattern enough times to know what was coming.

“Oh yeah?” Hongbin picked at the congealing meat sauce on his plate. “What’s his name?”

“He’s a year below us. Jung Hoseok,” Wonsik said, and his lips curled around the name affectionately.

“Ah, yeah, I think I know him,” Hongbin forced out.

“Oh, you do?” The hopeful tone in Wonsik’s voice made Hongbin want to swallow his tongue.

“Yeah, he’s friends with one of the kids on Junmyeon’s floor,” Hongbin told his spaghetti. “He’s an RA this year, remember?”

“Oh yeah. We should all hang out sometime, then!”

Hongbin didn’t have the heart to refuse Wonsik’s crinkly-eyed smile, so he just nodded.

\--

[11:15am] Hakyeon: you got into a fight with jaehwan?  
[11:17am] Hakyeon: hey  
[11:18am] Hakyeon: hey  
[11:19am] Hakyeon: hye  
[11:32am] Hakyeon: hello??  
[11:53am] Hakyeon: he told me already lee hongbin don’t ignore me.  
[12:13pm] Hakyeon: YOU BRAT ANSWER MY TEXTS  
[12:41pm] Hongbin: sorry hyung i turned off my phone to study  
[12:42pm] Hongbin: yea we got into a fight

\--

“Lee Hongbin, are you in there?” Hongbin massaged his temples as Hakyeon started to pound on his door, still screeching his name.

“I’m coming!” he shouted halfheartedly, staring down at the mass of text on the book in his lap. “Fuck, hyung.” He yanked the door open and sidestepped Hakyeon’s flailing fists. “The entire floor can hear you.”

“You startled me,” the smaller man gasped, puting a hand to his chest and fanning his face with the other. “Where’s Wonsik?”

“He’s at the dance studio,” Hongbin chewed his lip. “Why?”

“Good,” Hakyeon said as he toed off his shoes and stretched in the foyer before striding inside. “I wanted to talk to you about him.”

Hongbin groaned and closed the door, “Everyone wants to fucking talk to me about him, apparently.”

He regretted the words as soon as Hakyeon turned and fixed him with a withering glare, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. “Oh no you don’t, young man.” He stepped closer, jabbing the finger into his arm. “First of all, watch your language, Lee Hongbin. Second of all, you know Jaehwan was right about your problems. You can’t just sleep them away, Bin.”

Hongbin winced, drawing back so Hakyeon’s fingernail wasn’t stabbing him in the bicep. “I know, hyung,” he sighed. “Sorry.”

Hakyeon faltered at his unexpected lack of fire.

Hongbin drew a hand over his face. "Sorry, hyung, I'll apologize to Jaehwan-hyung later. I just really don't want to talk about this right now."

"Oh Bin," Hakyeon shuffled closer and wrapped his arms around Hongbin. He was much shorter than Wonsik and he smelled like lavender shampoo, but Hongbin found his eyes tearing up just the same as he remembered the faint hope that had fluttered in his chest weeks ago when Wonsik had hugged him and cried in their small kitchen.

"Sorry, hyung," Hongbin repeated. "Sorry. I've been having trouble with my classes, and I'm just really stressed, and now I can't talk to Jaehwan-hyung anymore."

"Wait, you've been having trouble with school too?" Hakyeon drew back slightly, frowning.

"You know, just the usual," Hongbin looked down and wiped his nose. "Not a big deal. I'll just study more for the rest of the semester—"

"No you won't," Hakyeon interrupted. "You've been pulling all-nighters four days a week since before midterms started, Bin. You look like you have two black eyes. If there's anything you should be doing, it's sleeping more."

"But my GPA—"

"Is your GPA more important than your health, Lee Hongbin?" Hakyeon demanded, frowning. Hongbin was silent.

"Are you okay, Bin?" Hakyeon softened again. "We're all worried about you."

"I just need to keep studying now, hyung," Hongbin tried to smile reassuringly. He clasped his trembling hands together hard behind Hakyeon's back. "It'll work out. There's barely more than a year and a half left before I graduate."

Hakyeon just pursed his lips.

\--

"Oh, hey, Binnie. When'd you get back?" Wonsik looked surprised, standing in the doorway of his bedroom. He rubbed at his sleep-mussed hair and wiped away a track of drool on his cheek.

Hongbin looked up from where he was chewing a mouthful of Lucky Charms in the kitchen. "Around two in the morning. You had your headphones in, though, so I didn't want to disturb you."

"Oh, okay," Wonsik bit his lip, an unconscious nervous habit he had picked up from Hongbin. "Where'd you go?"

"I was in the library," Hongbin nodded at the backpack still sitting on the couch. "I crashed when I got back."

"Oh. Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah," Hongbin said slowly, puzzled. "Why?"

Wonsik looked down. "I heard you got into a fight with Jaehwan-hyung. Hakyeon-hyung told me."

"Oh," Hongbin ran a hand through his unwashed hair. "Yeah, I did."

"Do—do you wanna talk about it?"

 _Yeah no big deal_ , Hongbin thought. _We were just talking about how I should confess my romantic attraction to you and ruin our friendship forever. And also I'm sleeping with Jaehwan-hyung_. Like he could say that. "No, it's okay. It wasn't anything big."

"Okay," Wonsik said quickly. "That's okay. You wanna come to see the new dance crew with me? It's been a while we hung out."

"Sorry," Hongbin slid his gaze down to his cereal to avoid Wonsik's disappointed expression. "I was planning on studying with Junmyeon and Chansik."

"Oh, okay."

"Sorry." Now it was Hongbin's turn to bite his lip.

"No, it's fine. You've been so busy though, and I'm worried you're stressing yourself out." The concern in Wonsik's tone nipped at Hongbin's conscience, but he forced a smile.

"I'm fine, Wonsik. Maybe I'll go to dance with you next time."

"Okay, sure." Wonsik brightened, and Hongbin tried not to wilt at the thought of watching Wonsik actively interact with his new crush.

When Hongbin barged into Junmyeon’s large single in the underclassman dorms, he found none other than Kim Taehyung sitting cross-legged on the carpet, prattling Chansik and Junmyeon’s ears off in a disconcertingly low machine-gun chatter. He froze mid-word, his mouth hanging open, as Hongbin stepped in.

“Yo, Choco!” Chansik windmilled his arms as best he could while lying face up on the bed. Junmyeon waved from his swivel chair at his desk.

“Hongbin-hyung!” Taehyung boomed, jumping to his feet and flashing an endearingly rectangular smile.

“Hey guys,” Hongbin grinned, ruffling Taehyung’s hair and slapping Chansik and Junmyeon’s upheld hands. “What’s up?”

“It’s been a while,” Junmyeon smiled. “What’ve you been up to?”

“Ah, nothing really,” Hongbin crossed his legs on the bed after pushing Chansik to the side. “School. The usual."

“Get some roommate bonding in?” Chansik asked casually. Hongbin turned so Junmyeon and Taehyung couldn’t see his face, rolling his eyes at Chansik’s pointed look.

“Oh yeah, Taehyung,” Hongbin turned to the freshman. “You know the sophomore Jung Hoseok, right?”

“Hoseokie-hyung! Yeah, I know him, why?”

Hongbin shrugged his backpack off his shoulders, kneading them to ease the tension. “Wonsik was thinking about joining the dance studio he goes to.”

“Oh, that's great!” Taehyung brightened. “I've been there a few times.”

Hongbin paused where he was spreading a pile of textbooks in front of him. "Yeah, he really likes it there." He shuffled them around, biting his lip, and selected the nearest one.

Chansik whistled. “God, Choco. We just finished midterms. How do you have so much work piled up already?”

“I gotta get a head start on some of this stuff,” Hongbin said mournfully. “Especially since I picked up Molecular Biology this semester.” He sniffled as Chansik picked at his textbooks, his face morphing with exaggerated horror. “I hate business,” he groaned.

“Here, tell me what you need help with,” Junmyeon cut in. Hongbin swore he could see a halo glowing around the boy’s smiling face. “I’ve taken some of these classes before.”

“Thank you,” Hongbin fake-blubbered, clambering off the bed to squeeze a laughing Junmyeon in a stifling hug.

\--

"How's school, Hongbin?" His mother's voice was warm and familiar through the receiver, and he could feel a lump growing in his throat.

He glanced back at Wonsik's room, and thought he could detect the faint sound of a snore. "It's fine, mom. Same as always," he said softly.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Sorry, mom, Wonsik's asleep."

"Oh no, I didn't realize it was so late," she fretted.

Hongbin smiled, then remembered she couldn't see his face. "It's okay, mom, I'm still up."

"Are you going to bed soon, then?"

His throat tightened a little more at the concern in her voice. He looked at the stacks of paper and books on his desk. He thought about his DSLR, sitting at the bottom of his closet this semester. "Yeah. I'm just gonna study a little more."

"Are you doing okay in your classes, honey?" Even through the phone, his mother was as sharp as always. "You know you don't need to put so much pressure on yourself. Your father and I were just worried about your grades last semester because we want the best for you."

"Yeah." His voice came out a little choked, and he cleared his throat. "Yeah, I know. I'm doing fine."

"Okay, honey." She didn't sound convinced. "Have a nice night. Love you." Hongbin knew she would probably bring it up again later, but the conversation was over for now.

"Love you, too."

The line clicked when he hung up, and he turned back to his econ notes, letting his head droop on the desk.

Hongbin woke with a start to the short vibrating spurts of one of his many preset alarms.

Rubbing drool from the corner of his mouth, he raised his head and unstuck a loose piece of paper from his cheek. He blinked away the bleariness from his eyes and picked up his phone to check the time: 3:30 in the morning.

Sighing, he stretched his arms overhead and stumbled out of his room. He felt around in the dark until he found the kitchen lights, groaning when he turned them on and bright pain erupted behind his eyeballs. He flicked them off for a second, plunging himself into darkness, then flicked them on again, this time squinting until his eyes adjusted.

He was pouring himself a glass of water when a creaking sound and a hoarse "Binnie?" emerged from Wonsik's open door.

"What are you doing up?" Hongbin turned off the tap as Wonsik shuffled out of his room, eyes swollen and cheeks puffy with sleep. His hair stuck up in the back in short tufts where he had slept awkwardly on his pillow. Adorable.

"I thought I heard you in the kitchen." Wonsik lifted an arm to ruffle his hair and rub at his eyes, revealing a sliver of skin between the hem of his sleep shirt and the waistband of his sweats, slung low on his hips. Hongbin gulped at his water and looked away. "What time is it?"

"3:30," Hongbin turned on the tap to refill his glass. "Go back to sleep."

"What about you?" Wonsik fumbled around the cabinet for another glass. "You were studying again, weren't you?"

"It's okay, I slept for a while."

"Falling asleep on your desk doesn't count," Wonsik frowned. "Normally I'm the night owl. You've been up losing way too much sleep, Bin."

"I just need to raise my grades," Hongbin reassured him. "I'll be fine once finals are over."

"You can't survive like this until finals, you know. Just get some rest tonight and worry about it later."

"But—"

"No buts."  
And suddenly, Wonsik was holding Hongbin's wrist, setting down his glass and easing Hongbin's out of his hand. "Look, your hands are shaking from the coffee and fatigue. Idiot."

"My hands always shake," Hongbin protested. He didn't mention that they were trembling because of the warm hand gripping his arm, not because of the caffeine he had ingested.

"Yeah, sure," Wonsik smiled, lazy and sleep-soft, guiding them back to his room.

"Wait, why are we going to your bed," Hongbin squeaked, pulling at his wrist half-heartedly.

"So I can monitor you," Wonsik yawned, gently pushing on Hongbin's shoulders until he was sitting next to the pillow. "I know you'd try and go back to work as soon as I fell asleep if you were in your own room." He circled around to the other side, sinking down onto his side and mashing his face into the pillow with a contented sigh.

Hongbin sat, frozen and awkwardly half-turned, until Wonsik patted his side impatiently. Then, with his heart beating out of his chest, he lowered himself until his cheek met the sheets, turning until he faced Wonsik, who stared back with dark, half-lidded eyes.

"Come closer so you're on the pillow." Wonsik's voice was a quiet rumble, fuzzy with sleep but still deep, and it incited an unbearable fluttering in the pit of Hongbin's stomach. Draping a long arm around Hongbin's waist, he maneuvered them until Hongbin was no longer on the edge of the mattress, cradling Hongbin's head on his arm. With a contented sigh that ruffled Hongbin's bangs and sent prickles down his spine, Wonsik let his eyes drift closed.

"It's too hot," Hongbin complained, glad that the darkness probably covered the flush in his face. He tried to wriggle away, but Wonsik just tightened his arm, and Hongbin could feel himself melting into the other boy's soft touch. Despite the tiny thrills still trembling in his chest, Hongbin could feel his eyes drift shut as Wonsik threw his leg over Hongbin's, enveloping him in comforting warmth.

Hongbin woke the next morning with his backside significantly colder than his front. Sunlight pierced his eyelids and he groaned softly, letting his eyes adjust as he slowly cracked them open.

"Good morning." Wonsik's drowsy smile came into view as Hongbin blinked.

"Good morning." Hongbin's voice cracked, and he winced. Shivering, he instinctively curled closer into the source of heat.

"Sorry, I stole the sheets." Wonsik's expression turned sheepish. The comforter rustled as he shifted to drape and tuck it around them more evenly. With the movement, Hongbin took note of his position for the first time.

His knees were still nestled in between Wonsik's legs, and he had his head pillowed on the taller boy's bicep. Sometime during the night, he had snuck his hands under Wonsik's shirt, no doubt seeking the heat, and now, to his consternation, he realized that he could feel the moving lumps of muscle on Wonsik's stomach as he moved.

He flushed and yanked them out, burying them under his armpits.

"Your hands are so small," Wonsik teased, pulling on his arm to draw one up. Hongbin nearly fainted when Wonsik laid their palms together, lips curling in amusement at the difference in length of their fingers. "Look at these stubs."

"Shut up," Hongbin said as flatly as he could, given his screaming brain. _Ohmygodohmygodohmy—_

  
“They’re cute,” Wonsik chuckled, absently curling his fingers so their hands slotted together, before pulling back. Hongbin sighed with disappointment as the warmth disappeared.

"Anyway, it's 10:30am and I have class in half an hour," Wonsik yawned, standing and stretching his arms up. Hongbin might have spared a glance at the abs he had definitely not been touching just five minutes ago. "You still have time, though, so you should sleep in a little more."

Hongbin turned so he was sprawled on his back, craning his neck to see Wonsik at the foot of the bed. "I can bring back dinner tonight. You have dance late today, right?"

"Oh," Wonsik paused while rifling through his sock drawer. "Actually, I was gonna ask you to come drop by at the end of practice. Some of the guys wanted to go out tonight, and I thought you could take a break. It's Saturday anyway, so you don't have to worry about getting work done for tomorrow."

"Okay," Hongbin was nodding before he'd even processed what Wonsik had said.

His heart flipped at Wonsik's bright grin, but he didn’t curl up and groan into the pillow until after the front door had slammed shut.

\--

[3:41pm] Hongbin: when does practice start?  
[3:53pm] Wonsik: five to eight y?  
[3:54pm] Hongbin: can i take photos?  
[3:54pm] Hongbin: i haven’t used my dslr in a while thought i'd clean it up  
[3:55pm] Wonsik: yes!!!! come whenever u want

\--

Hongbin was standing in front of the dance studio gnawing on his lip when Hakyeon found him. He had stepped outside, probably about to leave, given the bag and keys dangling from his hand, when he nearly ran into a pacing Hongbin with the door.

"Oh my god!" Hakyeon yelped, clapping a hand to his chest. "Hongbin! What are you doing here?"

"Wonsik invited me to go out with the dance crew tonight," Hongbin mumbled, fiddling with his camera. "And I thought I'd practice taking pictures."

"Oh, I see," Hakyeon said, a smile spreading on his lips as he ushered Hongbin into the studio. "Of course, you should go. It'll be fun."

Inside, there were students of all different ages standing on break, sweating through thin shirts, shorts, and leggings, despite the cold weather. It didn't take long for Hongbin to spot Wonsik chatting with Sanghyuk and another few people he couldn't put names to near the water coolers.

He fidgeted with his camera settings, unsure of how to approach them until Sanghyuk noticed him hovering in the doorway.

"Hyung!" he called and beckoned, a grin already splitting his face. Behind him, Wonsik's face lit up too.

"You came!" He wrapped an arm around Hongbin's shoulders, careful not to bump his equipment. "Let me introduce you to someone."

"Of course I came," Hongbin forced a scoff and wiggled out from under Wonsik's arm. "You're too sweaty."

Wonsik laughed, pulling him to the water cooler, where he had been standing before. He tapped a nearby boy's shoulder, and Hongbin's heart sink as he recognized the boy's face. "This is Hoseok."

"Oh, you must be Wonsik’s roommate! He’s told me so much about you." To Hongbin's disappointment, Hoseok was more than likeable, with a blinding smile and handsome features. His loud laughter incited unconscious smiles and chuckles from everyone within hearing distance, and he bounced off the walls as much as Hongbin had expected from one of Taehyung's friends. The worst part was Wonsik was more than comfortable interacting with him, unlike his previous crushes.

 _He's charming_ , Hongbin thought as he watched them banter playfully, his stomach swirling. Hoseok was probably completely enamored by now. _Who wouldn't be?_

The dance crew was full of talent, as Wonsik had told him. They worked well as a group, movements sharp and in sync and, Hongbin realized, Wonsik and even Sanghyuk fit in perfectly. The younger boy in particular had improved by leaps and bounds since Hongbin had last seen him perform at a showcase during break when Sanghyuk still attended their alma mater. As the dancers milled around, cleaning themselves up, Hongbin waited in the corner, feeling out of place and alone. Sanghyuk was goofing around with some of the other first years, and Wonsik was taking his turn in the showers.

"Can I see your pictures?" He jumped and craned his neck up to look at Hoseok.

"Oh, yeah," Hongbin mumbled as Hoseok dropped to the floor, peering with genuine interest at the camera in his hands. "It's been a while since I used my DSLR, so they're not as—"

"These are amazing!" Hoseok exclaimed as he flipped through shots of the sweating dancers. "I don't really know a lot about photography," he said sheepishly, "But a few of my friends have been interested in it lately."

"Oh" was all Hongbin could muster. Up close, he realized that Hoseok had long, tapered fingers. His body was well-proportioned, too. Hongbin thought of his own short legs and tiny hands and winced.

"You've been roommates with Wonsik since first year, right?" Hoseok continued conversationally, pausing to inspect a photo of himself appraisingly. It was a good shot. His light hair ringed his face in dynamic swirls, and lighting perfectly illuminated his fierce expression.

"Yeah, we were friends in high school." Hongbin twisted his fingers around, and let Hoseok chatter on about his own roommate, a sophomore majoring in music composition.

By "out," Wonsik had meant a party at some random frat house a fifteen-minute drive from the dance studio. Hongbin had piled into the back of a taxi with Wonsik and Hoseok, wedged between Wonsik and the window. He stared resolutely out the window as Wonsik and Hoseok chattered for the entirety of the ride, ignoring the water from Wonsik's shower-wet hair dripping on his shoulder and Sanghyuk's questioning glances from where he had claimed the front seat.

Two hours into the party, Hongbin was milling in the kitchen, alone with a cup of something gross that Sanghyuk had shoved into his hands before he ran off to yell at someone he recognized. At least the party was well stocked, he thought, staring down at the array of liquors sitting on the counter.

A pair of girls stumbled into the kitchen, presumably to get more drinks, but stopped at the doorway, where they promptly became too distracted with each other's mouths and hair to make it much further.

Hongbin sighed. He was too sober for this. He couldn't even sneak out on the pretense of getting a few night shots at the park a few blocks down, as they had stopped at their apartment for everyone to drop of their things, including his camera.

Ten minutes later, Wonsik walked into the kitchen to see Hongbin, now sitting on the island, resolutely staring at a clock on the wall above the two girls.

"Where's Hoseok?" Hongbin greeted him.

"He's with a other friends."  
Wonsik cleared a few bottles and hopped up to dangle his legs next to Hongbin's. His hair, dry and unstyled, was mussed from dancing, and his eyes shone from the alcohol.

Hongbin laid his head on Wonsik's shoulder and moaned, "Why can't I get drunk?"

"Your alcohol tolerance is so high it's scary," Wonsik agreed. "But hey, that means you can take me home when I get plastered." Wonsik rubbed his cheek on Hongbin’s hair. “What do you think of Hoseok?” Hongbin was glad that Wonsik couldn’t see his face.

"He's really nice," Hongbin said, and he meant it.

"He's an amazing dancer,” Wonsik said fondly. Hongbin ached at Wonsik's excited tone, and he lifted his head. "And he's interested in music composition, too. He's been helping me out with a track."

"That's nice," Hongbin mumbled, staring down at his fingers.

"Hey, Bin, you okay?" Wonsik's face swam into view, and Hongbin forced a small smile.

"Yeah, just kinda tired."

"You need to catch up on your sleep." Wonsik frowned, his eyes drooping with concern. "Do you want to go home?"

"No, it's fine," Hongbin shook his head. "We can stay. I'll just sit in here until I feel a little bit better."

Hongbin tried not to squirm from the guilt when large, warm hands rubbed at his back. He didn't have to hold it in long, as Hoseok soon appeared in the doorway, charmingly mussed, inquiring after him with genuine concern and asking if Wonsik wanted to dance. With a few reassurances and pats on the back, Hongbin was alone in the empty kitchen again.

A few shots later, Hongbin still wasn't drunk, but he was tipsy enough to let a body press him against a dark wall, slip a knee between his legs, and press cold, sloppy kisses into his mouth.

\--

[11:34pm] Hongbin: im leaving early, won't be home  
[11:34pm] Hongbin: make sure hyukkie leaves with you  
[11:54pm] Wonsik: k  
[11:54pm] Wonsik: be careful

\--

Hongbin woke up seven minutes before his alarm set off, but he let himself stare up at the ceiling, a lukewarm gray in the cloudy dawn light, for another three minutes before shutting it off.

He shifted so he was on his side, staring at the backside of a head of black hair buried under the comforter, piled up like a small mountain. A foot stuck out from the bottom, but Hongbin's wasn't interested in his hookup's identity, so he left the lump alone. As quietly as he could, he slipped off the side of the bed, collecting his things and pulling on his clothes.

He found himself not more than three blocks from his own apartment. After buying a can of coffee at the convenience store downstairs, he took a seat on the curb, sipping at the can and staring as the dismal morning sky lightened. Setting down the coffee, he pulled out his phone to check his texts.

\--

[6:02am] Hongbin: i'm sorry for being such a dick  
[6:02am] Hongbin: and i'm sorry for not apologizing sooner  
[6:02am] Hongbin: you were right about the hookups too hyung  
[6:03am] Hongbin: sorry  
[6:17am] Jaehwan: i can't believe u woke me up for this brat D:<  
[6:18am] Jaehwan: treat me to bubble tea and we're good  
[6:21am] Hongbin: ok hyung  
[6:21am] Hongbin: sorry  
  
\--  
  
Hongbin bought two cups of ramen, which he finished slowly while peering into the foggy streets. After an hour, he chucked the styrofoam bowls outside the store and walked back in to buy two more cans of coffee.  
  
\--  
  
_Went out to get coffee with Hoseok because we couldn't sleep. Text me what you want me to bring back!!! -Sikkie_  
  
Hongbin stared down at the pick note for a second, listening to Hyuk's soft snores behind him, and then stuck both cans in the fridge. _For late nights_ , he told himself.  
  
\--  
  
[6:53am] Hongbin: iced green tea latte  
  
\--  
  
[8:44am] Wonsik: binnie where r u  
[8:44am] Wonsik: i have ur green tea latte  
[8:46am] Hongbin: sorry i went out to study  
[8:47am] Hongbin: you can give it to hyuk or leave it in the fridge  
[9:03am] Wonsik: k  
[9:03am] Wonsik: don't stay out too late  
  
\--  
  
"How long have you been here?" Chansik demanded, thumping down his backpack next to Hongbin's head where it was currently pressed to the library table.  
  
"Who knows," he mumbled into his arms. "I don't want to go home yet."  
  
Chansik raised an eyebrow. "What's got you so moody aside from game theory?"  
  
"Wonsik is on the cusp of another relationship," Hongbin sighed. He willed away the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.  
  
"Oh, I heard about that." Chansik dug around his backpack, pulling out a few books. "Jaehwan-hyung told me."  
  
"What?" Hongbin rolled his head to the side so he could fix his friend with a baleful eye. "Why does it seem like Jaehwan-hyung is telling everyone?"  
  
Chansik shrugged. "I had to go get my jacket from Junghwan-hyung's place, and I saw him there."  
  
"The worst fucking part this time is Hoseok is so _nice_ ," Hongbin groaned quietly, turning back to bury his face in his elbow again. "Shit, I can't even hate him."  
  
"Wait, Hoseok?" Chansik frowned.  
  
"Yeah, Wonsik's new crush," Hongbin sat up and rolled his eyes. "He’s friends with Taehyung, remember?"  
  
"Yeah I know who he is, but—" Chansik stopped, staring down at Hongbin. He shook his head, "Never mind. Keep going."  
  
"Wonsik even lets him listen to his fucking tracks tracks," Hongbin sighed, sniffing to himself.  
  
"Is that so." Chansik opened one of his textbooks and pulled out a highlighter. His lip twitched. If Hongbin didn't know better, he would have thought that Chansik was holding back a smile.  
  
"He never lets _anyone_ listen to his unfinished work," Hongbin told him. "Unless he's asking Taekwoon-hyung or his professors for advice."  
  
"Huh." Hongbin was a bit surprised at Chansik's reaction. Normally, he had more to offer, whether it be sympathy or sarcasm."Oh I heard about the one he's working on right now," Chansik said conversationally. "I haven't listened to it though."  
  
"What the fuck?" Hongbin hissed, glaring at his friend. "Did Wonsik show you too?"  
  
"No, idiot." Chansik rolled his eyes. "Wonsik left his notebook at Taekwoon-hyung's place, and Jaehwan-hyung found it by accident. Almost everyone knows the gist of the lyrics by now."  
  
"How come _I_ don't know?"  
  
"You were fighting with Jaehwan-hyung, remember? Besides—" Chansik broke off and muttered something under his breath.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's nothing," Chansik sighed. He jabbed a finger into Hongbin's chest. "Anyway, you need to leave. Go home and get something to eat and go to bed. You should probably shower and shave while you're at it. God knows how long you've gone without."  
  
He shoved at Hongbin until he stood up, and Hongbin let him pack his textbooks into his bag and push him out the door. Outside, Hongbin is surprised to see the sky is long dark, and a few stars have already begun to come out.  
  
The time on his phone read 10:02 by the time he was standing in the elevator of his apartment, and he realized he was a lot more tired now that he was this close to his own bed. He trudged down the corridor, resolving to go to bed immediately and wake up earlier tomorrow to finish the readings he had been in the middle of reviewing when Chansik had showed up.  
  
Upon opening the door, he was greeted by a peal of loud laughter that definitely was not Wonsik's.  
  
"You're so greasy," a familiar voice snorted, still giggling.  
  
"Shut up and listen to it," Wonsik grumbled.  
  
Hongbin's heart sank.  
  
"You're back, Binnie?" Wonsik raised his voice.  
  
"Yeah," Hongbin called back and gulped, pulling the door shut. "Is that Hoseok?"  
  
"Yep. He's giving me advice on a new track I've been working on. Have you eaten?"  
  
"Not yet." Hongbin wandered into the living room, depositing his backpack on the couch, peering into the bedroom studio to see Wonsik, sitting on the bed and wiggling his fingers in a wave. Hoseok sat at Wonsik's desk, studio headphones wrapped around his head, his back facing the door. Hongbin nodded at the computer monitor. "Is that for a class?"  
  
"Yeah. It's due in a week."  
  
"Oh." Hongbin leaned on the doorway and forced himself to sound casual. "Can I hear it?"  
  
"N-not yet," Wonsik squawked. "It's not done yet."  
  
"Oh, okay," Hongbin tried not to sound disappointed.  
  
"Hongbin-hyung!" Hoseok had turned around in Wonsik's swivel chair and was now pulling the headphones off. He flashed a bright grin. "Welcome back!"  
  
Hongbin found himself mirroring his smile unconsciously. "Ah, thanks."  
  
"I love it!" Hoseok turned to Wonsik. "You really poured your feelings into it."  
  
"Thanks," Wonsik cleared his throat self-consciously.  
  
_Almost everyone knows the gist of the lyrics by now_ , Chansik had said. Hongbin glanced at the monitor. "What's the assignment about?"  
  
Wonsik choked and erupted into a fit of coughs, cutting his eyes at Hoseok.  
  
"Love," Hoseok answered for him, eyes twinkling at Hongbin.  
  
Oh.  
  
_Oh_.  
  
Suddenly, Hongbin didn't want to hear any more. "I see." Hongbin pushed himself off the doorframe. "Well, I'm going to have dinner. Have you two had eaten yet?"  
  
Hoseok nodded, but Wonsik shook his head sheepishly. "Hakyeon-hyung stocked the fridge with groceries earlier today, so I felt bad ordering takeout. I didn't know what to do with the food, though, so I thought I'd wait for you to get back."  
  
"Sure, I'll make something," Hongbin nodded. "What do you want to eat?"  
  
"I’m okay with anything you want to eat.”  
  
"Okay."  
  
Hongbin turned away as Hoseok leaned in to whisper something in Wonsik's ear. After a moment, Wonsik groaned and Hoseok began to snicker quietly.  
  
\--  
  
[6:23pm] Wonsik: hey r u coming home for dinner?  
[7:06pm] Hongbin: sorry im eating out with chansik  
[7:06pm] Hongbin: won't be back until later  
[7:09pm] Wonsik: ok  
[7:10pm] Wonsik: hey is everything alright?  
[7:11pm] Hongbin: ?  
[7:11pm] Hongbin: why?  
[7:12pm] Wonsik: i haven't seen u at home in a week  
[7:13pm] Wonsik: is everything ok with jaehwan hyung?  
[7:14pm] Hongbin: yea we talked it was fine  
[7:14pm] Hongbin: midterms are coming up so i'm getting ready  
[7:15pm] Wonsik: ok  
[7:17pm] Wonsik: r we good binnie?  
[7:21pm] Hongbin: ?  
[7:21pm] Hongbin: yea  
[7:21pm] Hongbin: why?  
[7:22pm] Wonsik: nothing it's fine  
[7:22pm] Wonsik: have fun at dinner  
  
\--  
  
[5:57pm] Wonsik: hey r u coming home for dinner?  
[11:43pm] Wonsik: i left some in the fridge in case ur hungry when you get back  
  
\--  
  
Hongbin lay face up on a bench in front of the student center, one leg hanging off the side and the other propped up so his knee stuck in the air. His ears were getting cold, but he made no move to put on the fuzzy earmuffs in his hands. He stared up at the empty branches as the wind picked up and the street lamps flickered on.  
  
Just as he was considering feeling his alarmingly numb nose to make sure it was still there, a face appeared above him, slanted eyes narrowing with concern. He sat up quickly, a small smile spreading on his lips despite his earlier mood.

"Oh, Taekwoon-hyung."  
  
"What are you doing here so late, Bin?" Taekwoon patted his head fondly.  
  
"Just taking a break," Hongbin said, placing the muffs on his head. "What about you?"  
  
"Just got off work." The stony-faced man let the corners of his lips curl up ever so slightly. "Want coffee?"  
  
Taekwoon paid for Hongbin's drink as well as his own, frowning when Hongbin tried to pull out his own wallet. They sat in a booth at the cozy café, facing each other in comfortable silence as they warmed cold fingers on hot cups. The drinks weren't as good as Jaehwan's concoctions, but the place was closer to campus and much quieter.  
  
"I never see you around." Taekwoon was soft-spoken, but Hongbin had no issue hearing him in the quiet coffee shop. "Wonsik comes by sometimes to hole himself up in my studio for advice on something he's been trying to finish for a project, but it seems he hasn't seen you for a while, either. It seems you're always studying."  
  
"Oh," Hongbin looked down at his cup. "I don't know. I haven’t been home much lately."  
  
“I heard,” Taekwoon nodded. Hongbin wondered if Wonsik had one for him too. "How are you doing, Bin?"  
  
It might have been the quiet calm of Taekwoon's presence, the absence of Hakyeon's pushiness, the lack of Sanghyuk and Jaehwan's teasing, or just the mention of Wonsik's name. Hongbin thought of the paper his professor had given back three days ago, the big fat C staring up at him accusingly, and suddenly, he found his face crumpling.  
  
Taekwoon patted the boy's hair quietly as he began to cry.  
  
\--  
  
[7:24pm] Hongbin: can we do alcohol at taekwoon hyungs place instead of boba  
[7:26pm] Jaehwan: oh god  
[7:26pm] Jaehwan: fine you'd better have some good stuff  
  
\--  
  
"No." Jaehwan blanched in the doorway of Taekwoon's flat, eyeing the clear bottles of hard liquor lining his counter. "Fuck no, I am not drinking vodka straight instead of pearl milk tea, Lee Hongbin. My life isn't that shitty yet."  
  
"But I've never gotten drunk before," Hongbin laughed humorlessly. Taekwoon raised an eyebrow. "I just want to see what it’s like for once."  
  
"Then I can watch you get wasted," Jaehwan shuddered. "You still owe me boba."  
  
"Sure, hyung." Hongbin agreed, inspecting the shot glass he was rolling around with his fingers. "Well, here goes number three."  
  
Jaehwan stared in horror as he threw it back and slammed the glass down, scrunching his face. "God, Bin. What _happened_?"  
  
"He's stressed," Taekwoon said shortly, holding out a ready glass of water for Hongbin to chug. "And Wonsik got a new crush."  
  
A total of seven shots in, Hongbin could feel tears welling up again. Jaehwan dug out his phone to snap a shot of his shiny eyes, but Taekwoon slapped his hand and glared until he put it away.  
  
“He’s leaving me behind," Hongbin sniffed despondently. "He knows what he’s doing with his life, and I’m just the friend from fucking high school who’s holding him back.”  
  
“Bin—"  
  
“It’s bad enough that I’m a shitty, floundering third year business student,” Hongbin continued miserably. “If I tell him how I feel now, he’ll feel fucking obligated or some shit to somehow reciprocate because we’ve been friends for so long, and I’ll just keep dragging him down into a shithole of my personal problems until he fails too.”  
  
Jaehwan and Taekwoon shared a glance. Hongbin felt like he should be able to figure out what it meant, but he was too tired to really think about it.  
  
Twelve shots in, Hongbin had his forehead pressed to the edge of the counter, letting his tears drip off the edge of his chin.  
  
"He's not even a fucking Gryffindor!" Hongbin spit at his socked feet. "He's a goddamn Hufflepuff. Shit, what kinda Slytherin—" he slipped into a mumble.  
  
Jaehwan quietly excused himself to pee. After a moment, howls of laughter emerged from the bathroom at the end of the hall.  
  
They ended the night after Hongbin began drinking directly from the bottle ("Is he a monster?" Jaehwan asked at one point when he rose and walked in a straight line to the bathroom) and Taekwoon removed it from his limp grasp.  
  
\--  
  
[12:32pm] Jaehwan: LOL guess what hongbinnie got drunk at the hyungs place  
[12:33pm] Wonsik: what????  
[12:34pm] Jaehwan: don't worry we're bringing over now  
[12:34pm] Jaehwan: this is hilarious look how much he drank  
[12:35pm] Jaehwan: _1 image attachment_  
[12:36pm] Wonsik: what the hell hyung u were there y didn't u stop him  
[12:36pm] Wonsik: is he ok??????????  
[12:36pm] Wonsik: y r there sharpies  
[12:38pm] Jaehwan: LOLOL you'll see ;)  
  
\--  
  
"Hey, look, this is _my_ apartment building!" Hongbin said, his voice too loud. Almost as an afterthought, he giggled and slapped at Jaehwan's chest. "Look, hyung!"  
  
"Yes, yes, I can see that," Jaehwan wheezed as he stopped in the hallway to readjust the boy so he was propped us against his shoulder. "I'm taking you home."  
  
"I don't wanna go home, though," Hongbin pouted, dragging his feet.  
  
Jaehwan rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "We've come this far, I'm not taking you anywhere else, Lee Hongbin."  
  
Hongbin paused, squinting at Jaehwan. His lips curled up in a grin. "Hey." The slapping resumed. "That _my_ name, hyung!"

Jaehwan heaved a sigh and raised a fist to pound on the door. Before he finished the third knock, the door was flying open and Wonsik's hands were reaching out to catch Hongbin under the armpits.  
  
"Oh," Hongbin looked up with wide eyes, startled. He turned to Jaehwan, pointing at his roommate. "Look, hyung—"  
  
"It's your roommate Wonsik, I know," Jaehwan said, pushing both of them inside and slamming the door. "Good Lord, Bin, I am never letting you get drunk ever again."  
  
Wonsik stared in horror as Hongbin slumped against him, pressing cold fingers against the back of his neck. "What the hell, hyung," he hissed at Jaehwan. "How much did he drink?"  
  
"A shit ton of hard liquor," Jaehwan sighed. "I don't even know why the hyungs keep that much liquor in their apartment. It's not like they drink that much."  
  
"I feel floaty," Hongbin told them solemnly.  
  
"You smell terrible," Wonsik told him.  
  
"I'm actually really impressed he's still speaking normally," Jaehwan said. "He can walk in a straight line too, but he thought it would be funny to make me carry him the whole way back."  
  
"You can walk?" Wonsik looked at Hongbin, who was still limp in his arms, neck craning back to stare up at him. Hongbin nodded, his movements slow and liquid.  
  
"No way," Wonsik wrinkled his brow. "I don't believe that."  
  
"I can!" Hongbin's bottom lip jutted out in a pout.  
  
"No you can't."  
  
"Can _too_!"  
  
"Fine, then show me," Wonsik said. Hongbin immediately straightened, lifting himself up. "I'll believe you if you can change and walk to your bedroom by yourself."  
  
Hongbin stuck his lip out childishly before turning to go.  
  
"Wow, he really can," Wonsik said when he had disappeared into the bedroom. "That's kinda scary."  
  
"Well, this has been awful," Jaehwan sighed. "Luckily he doesn't do it often."  
  
"What happened, hyung?" Wonsik asked quietly, peering into Hongbin's bedroom to make sure he was putting on his clothes properly.  
  
"He's been upset about a lot of things," Jaehwan said. "And he's been really confused about school, too."  
  
"Oh," Wonsik chewed his lip. "I heard you fought, hyung. Are you good now?"  
  
"Oh, that," Jaehwan nodded. "Yeah, it was just something small. He's treating me to bubble tea to make up for it."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Oh you know," Jaehwan said dismissively. "Issues about his feelings and such."  
  
"What?" Wonsik choked. "Isn't that a big deal? Are you sure you're okay now?"  
  
Jaehwan glanced at him oddly. "Yeah, no problem. He just needed some advice about his coping mechanisms."  
  
"And then you let him get plastered right in front of you?" Wonsik frowned.  
  
"It had to happen sometime. He's just drunk." Jaehwan waved dismissively. "Anyway, point is we sorted out his feelings and now we're all good. Only difference is I sleep with my other friends more now."  
  
"You _what_?" Wonsik's voice came out strangled.  
  
"I do have sex, Kim Wonsik," Jaehwan grinned, amused. "Are you shocked?"  
  
"Of course I am," Wonsik spluttered. "Does Hongbin know?"  
  
Jaehwan frowned. "Well, yeah."  
  
"He's okay with it?" Wonsik choked.  
  
"He's never really cared." Jaehwan narrowed his eyes. "Wait, I think we're not on the same page here."  
  
"Yeah, me neither," Wonsik retorted hotly. "I think you just told me you were cheating on my best friend and expected me to not do something about it."  
  
"Yeah, I thought so," Jaehwan sighed. "Listen, Wonsik, Bin and I aren't dating."  
  
"Wait, you _broke up_?" Wonsik shrieked.  
  
A giggle emerged from Hongbin's room. "Wonsikkie broke up with his girlfrieeeeend!" he squealed, lying on the bed and kicking his legs up in the air.  
  
Jaehwan rolled his eyes. "No. We were never dating in the first place."  
  
Silence.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Have you heard of friends with benefits?" Jaehwan laughed as Wonsik gaped. "Wonsikkie, you're so cute."  
  
"S-so you," Wonsik stuttered, turning red, " _sleep_ together? Regularly?"  
  
"I mean, we broke it off," Jaehwan waved his hand. "He used sex to cope with his frustration about his feelings, so I told him we had to stop so he could actually deal with them."  
  
"About school?" Wonsik frowned.  
  
"Well, he's also been having trouble with a boy," Jaehwan admitted. "A boy that he likes."  
  
"Are you sure?" Wonsik demanded. "Why haven't I heard anything about this?"  
  
"He's pretty sensitive about it," Jaehwan smiled again. "You can ask him if you want, but he'll be upset."  
  
"No, it's okay," Wonsik mumbled, "I don't want to hear about his crush." He fiddled with the hem of his shirt moodily.  
  
Jaehwan stared at him for a second. Then, very slowly, his lips curled into a smile, which widened into a grin.  
  
"What," Wonsik stared at him warily. "What is that smile supposed to mean."  
  
"Nothing," Jaehwan said, still grinning. "I gotta get back to my place. Seokjin's gonna have a fit if I come in past two in the morning stinking of whiskey. Take care of Bin, and make sure he drinks some water."  
  
"Oh, right," Wonsik started. "He hasn't brushed his teeth."  
  
"Bye, Wonsikkie!" Jaehwan shot a few finger guns at Wonsik and skipped the whole way to the door, humming as he slipped his shoes on.  
  
Wonsik slumped and buried his face in his hands as the door slammed, leaving behind silence and the sound of creaking bed springs as Hongbin pedaled his legs in the air, giggling softly to himself.  
  
\--  
  
Hongbin woke up the next morning in his own room. He stared up at the ceiling with dry eyes, wincing at the slight pulse of an impending headache. Luckily, the curtains were drawn shut, although he could tell from the faint light spilling out of a tear in the cloth that it was still somewhat early.  
  
Sighing, he rose from the bed, shuffling out in rumpled pajamas. Wonsik was sitting on the counter, scrolling through his phone listlessly with half of piece of toast wedged in his mouth.  
  
"Morning, Wonsik," he mumbled, yawning.  
  
"What the fuck," Wonsik replied, slightly garbled. He chewed and swallowed before repeating himself, "What the fuck."  
  
"What? Is there something on my face?" Hongbin looked down at himself, but his clothes seemed normal.  
  
"You," Wonsik coughed, pointing at him accusingly. "You're not hungover?"  
  
"Well, I've got a slight headache and I need eyedrops, if that's what you mean," Hongbin said. He wrinkled his nose, sniffing at his armpit. "Also I smell _foul_."  
  
"That barely counts," Wonsik whined. "What the fuck?"  
  
"Taekwoon-hyung made me drink a lot of water," Hongbin said evenly. "Anyway, I'm going to pee and take a shower, if you don't mind. Also, I remember last night perfectly well, so we're going to have a talk about your little misunderstanding when we get out."  
  
Wonsik choked on his toast as the bathroom door clicked shut behind Hongbin.  
  
Twenty minutes, a shower, and a change of clothes later, Hongbin was sitting on to the counter next to Wonsik, nursing a cup of instant coffee and keeping an eye on the toaster.  
  
"So," Wonsik clicked off his phone. "What did you want to talk about."  
  
"Wait," Hongbin said, still staring intently at the small trails of smoke rising from his bread.  
  
So Wonsik waited.  
  
After a minute and thirty seconds, the toaster dinged, and Hongbin turned back, toast in hand.  
  
He sighed and kicked his feet gently against the cupboards.  
  
"I'm sorry, Wonsik."  
  
Pause.  
  
More kicking. More waiting.  
  
"I've been pushing you away."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Ah, goddamit, I fucking suck ass at talking about my feelings," Hongbin tore at his hair, groaning with frustration.  
  
Wonsik laughed. "You also swear when you're stressed or upset."  
  
"Shit," Hongbin smiled ruefully. "You know me the best."  
  
Wonsik nodded. "You can tell me whatever you need to say. I'll listen."  
  
Hongbin leaned to the side until he was resting against Wonsik's arm, his head on the other boy's shoulder. "I don't want to be an accountant."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I'm really tired."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I wasn't dating Jaehwan-hyung."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"It was my fault for not telling you in the first place," Hongbin looked up, nudging him.  
  
"Oh." Wonsik relaxed slightly. "I thought you were going to be mad at me for misunderstanding."  
  
Hongbin laughed. "It's actually pretty funny, now that I think of it."  
  
"Are you still—" Wonsik pauses, coughing. Hongbin sat up, looking at him expectantly. He flushed a little, and coughed again. "Still—you know—"  
  
"Oh," Hongbin laughed again, this time a little forced. "No. I stopped."  
  
"I see." Wonsik inspected his nails.  
  
"The lifestyle suits Jaehwan-hyung, but he was right." Hongbin chewed his lip. "I needed to stop using it as an excuse not to face my own issues."  
  
"Oh," Wonsik said softly. "Was it mostly about school or the boy?"  
  
"Both," Hongbin hesitated. "Yeah, both."  
  
"How are things with him now?"  
  
"The same," Hongbin took a sip of coffee and looked down. "But I'll get over it. I think."  
  
"Okay. What about school?"  
  
Hongbin took a deep breath. "I don't know." He paused, sitting back up. "I don't know, but I need to get things worked out. I think I'm gonna start spending more time at home. Get some sleep. I’ll go see if I can get my job back at the rescue center."  
  
"That's good." Wonsik turned so he was facing Hongbin, one leg propped up so it was folded sideways on the counter.  
"Are you going to change your major?"  
  
"Yeah, probably." Hongbin let his breath out with a whoosh. "Yeah. I need to figure out what I want to do instead before I talk to my parents. Make a game plan, you know."  
  
Wonsik nodded. "What about Bio?"  
  
"I was thinking that too," Hongbin sighed. "But I don't know if I want to do premed or go into research, and I need to talk with my parents about plausible careers."  
  
"There's still time in the semester, Binnie," Wonsik laid a hand over Hongbin's tight grip on his mug. His palm was dry and warm. "Take your time."  
  
"Yeah," Hongbin smiled. "Thanks."  
  
\--  
  
[11:23am] Hongbin: vet school  
[11:24am] Wonsik: ?  
[11:24am] Wonsik: !!!!!!!!!  
[11:25am] Hongbin: gonna go talk to my academic advisor about it now  
[11:25am] Hongbin: and then i'll call my parents  
[11:25am] Hongbin: wish me luck  
[11:26am] Wonsik: good luck!!!!!!!!!  
  
\--  
  
Wonsik wandered into the kitchen, empty glass in hand. He opened the pantry and frowned. "Hey, Bin, where are the Lucky Charms I bought two days ago?"  
  
"Second pantry to the left," Hongbin answered without looking up, staring down at a mass of text with a frown. He skimmed a few lines with a highlighter, rereading them as he went.  
  
"Where?" Wonsik's voice was muffled as he stuck his head in the cupboard. "I don't—"  
  
"They're on the top shelf, in the back," Hongbin said. "I hid them when Hyuk came over yesterday."  
  
"Good call." Wonsik reemerged with the cereal.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Move your stuff," Wonsik whined until Hongbin slid a pile of papers to the other side so he could set down his bowl. "When you said spend more time at home, I didn't think you were just going to move your study cave to our apartment."  
  
"Yeah, me neither," Hongbin admitted, adjusting the rim of his glasses. "But finals are in a week, and I also need to get ready for the GRE. I'm probably going to sign up for summer session to catch up on classes."  
  
Wonsik sighed, lying his head on the table. "Can't believe I'm gonna be at home alone all summer."  
  
"Whatever, you'll probably have some form of work to do," Hongbin replied unsympathetically. "Besides, you're not coming back with me for fall break either, so we're even."  
  
"But you're only gonna be going back for two weeks during the break, and I'm going to be at home for one of those weeks," Wonsik complained loudly. "Summer session is _three months long_."  
  
"Just hang out with Hyukkie," Hongbin suggested, hiding a smile behind his hand. "He's got the same dance schedule as you, and he said he was going to be home all summer."  
  
"He eats too much," Wonsik huffed.  
  
"He's a large child," Hongbin rolled his eyes. "In fact, you're a large child, too. You match."  
  
Wonsik groaned, letting his forehead hit the table with a gentle thunk.  
  
Hongbin laughed. "Okay, but seriously. Why are you in a bad mood today?"  
  
"The showcase is right after winter break," Wonsik sighed. "Dance is picking up. Everyone's stressed because of finals. Also, apparently our budget won't cover costumes so we need to figure that out."  
  
Hongbin hummed sympathetically.  
  
"Oh, speaking of," Wonsik rose and dug around his pockets, coming up with a small slip of paper. "Ticket sales started, and I have yours."  
  
"Thanks," Hongbin took the paper, slipping it into his backpack. "I'll be there. Should I bring my camera?"  
  
"Yeah, that'd be great," Wonsik nodded. "Hoseok told me he really liked your photos from that one time you came by during practice."  
  
"Tell him I said thanks," Hongbin smiled. It came to him more naturally now, and he ignored the small pang that still stabbed at his chest.  
  
"Sure." Wonsik coughed. "And also—can you make sure you take a few good shots of me? I want to make an Instagram post of it, but I don't want too many selfies on my feed."  
  
Hongbin's smile widened. "So that's the real reason you want me to take photos."  
  
"I'll treat you to coffee," Wonsik said quickly. "If you don't tell Jaehwan-hyung I said that."  
  
"Deal."  
  
\--  
  
The showcase was three days before classes started for the spring semester. The last few days, he hardly saw Wonsik at home before dark, and when he did come home, it was to flop facedown on his bed and pass out, hair still wet from showering at the studio. The morning of found Hongbin chewing cereal drowsily at 7 o'clock in the morning amidst a pile of chemistry notes and watching Wonsik rattle around in the bathroom trying to force down a few stubborn stray hairs with a brush.  
  
"Don't forget to take those pictures," Wonsik had called from where he was struggling in the foyer with his shoes.  
  
Hongbin had grunted into his cereal as the door slammed.  
  
Hongbin arrived at the theater ten minutes early, holding only his camera equipment and two roses. He wasn't worried about finding a seat, since he would be standing so he could move around more freely for the pictures. He stood to the side of the ground floor seats and scanned the crowd for a glimpse of someone he might know. Hakyeon was backstage helping out with last minute preparations, but Taekwoon and Jaehwan were sitting somewhere in the crowd.  
  
After a few fruitless minutes, he gave up. As he leaned back against the wall near the first few rows, he spotted a short boy standing a few feet away. He sported a head of pale mint green hair, but more importantly, he was holding a camera and Hongbin recognized him as another third year student in their school's small music program. He and Hongbin had spoken a few times, but most of their conversations revolved around short nods and "is Kim Wonsik still inside"s.  
  
"Hi," he sidled up to the mint-haired boy somewhat awkwardly. He eyed Hongbin's camera and nodded gruffly in return. They both paused. "Are you here for a friend?" Hongbin asked when it seemed like the other boy wasn't going to speak.  
  
"My boyfriend's performing today," Yoongi said distractedly as he poked out a tongue, fiddling with the aperture. "You're here to see Wonsik, right?"  
  
"Oh. Yeah."  
  
"We've spoken outside the music building before," Yoongi glanced at him with lazy eyes. "And Wonsik talks a lot about his roommate. Business major, right?"  
  
Hongbin smiled. "Actually, I switched to Bio."  
  
"Ah."  
  
The lights flickered, and both boys turned toward the stage, cameras ready, as the dancers filed on stage, all facing the back. Although he couldn't see any faces, Hongbin recognized Wonsik's long limbs and shock of bleached hair immediately.  
  
"That's him," Yoongi muttered, pointing at one of the boys standing in the front. "My boyfriend."  
  
As the music started and the dancers whirled around, Hongbin recognized Yoongi's boyfriend almost immediately.  
  
"Oh." His momentary elation was damped by guilt as Hongbin spotted Wonsik again. " _Oh_."  
  
Yoongi gave him a funny look.  
  
"It's nothing," Hongbin muttered, too flustered to give a proper response, and raised the viewfinder to his eye.  
  
\--  
  
When the performance ended, Hongbin and Yoongi pushed their way backstage to congratulate the dancers. Hongbin clutched his camera to his chest as he tried not to bump into the people crying, laughing, and hugging all around him. With a sigh of relief, he spotted a familiar mop of brown hair bobbing a head above the crowd.  
  
"Hyukkie!" he yelled, waving an arm in the air.  
  
The boy turned, face lighting up as he made his way over and crushed Hongbin into a giant hug. Hongbin handed him one of the roses when they separated, and the boy's face split with a grin.  
  
"Thanks, hyung." Hongbin resisted the urge to coo and pinch his cheek. "Have you seen Wonsik-hyung? He was looking for you."  
  
Hongbin's stomach swooped, and he shook his head. "Not yet."  
  
"He was standing next to the curtains the last time I saw him," Sanghyuk muttered, gripping Hongbin's upper arm so he couldn't run away. "Oh! There he is! Hyung!"  
  
Before Hongbin could brace himself, he was enveloped in a tight hug that smelled of sweat and cologne. After a moment, Wonsik released him, and he desperately willed himself not to turn red.  
  
"Thanks for coming, Binnie," Wonsik beamed, and Hongbin felt faint. Wonsik's eyes were lined with kohl, his hair messily swept back to reveal his forehead.  
  
"Good job," Hongbin mumbled, handing Wonsik the rose he was gripping with clammy fingers. He looked up and spotted Hoseok standing behind them, chatting with Sanghyuk and two other girls on the dance team. "Oh, wait, fuck. Wonsik, I had something I needed to tell you."  
  
"Hm?" Wonsik was still panting from the performance.His tight black t-shirt clung to his sweaty ( _heaving_ ) chest, a chest that Hongbin had _just_ felt pressed up against his own.  
  
"Um, shit, I'm sorry for not telling you earlier," Hongbin started nervously, veering his eyes away from the bit of Wonsik's chest peeking out from the v-neck of the shirt ( _Focus, Lee Hongbin! Be strong_ ), "I swear I just heard about this before the performance—"  
  
Before he could say another word, a surly and somewhat frazzled head of mint green hair pushed out from the crowd of dancers, and Hoseok stopped mid-sentence to bound over.  
  
"Yoongi-hyung!" Hoseok exclaimed, pecking his boyfriend's pale cheek.  
  
As Hongbin watched on in horror, Yoongi wrapped an arm around the younger boy's waist, murmuring a "You did good, Seokseok" ( _what_ ) and kissed him straight on the lips.  
  
Hongbin winced, too scared to look at Wonsik's expression.  
  
"Um," he yelped, grabbing Wonsik's wrist impulsively. "Uh, I-I'm not feeling too great. Let's go get some fresh air!" He yanked at Wonsik until they were running out of the theater, onto the stone steps leading down the exit.  
  
It wasn't until he reached the bottom step that he realized he was still holding onto Wonsik's wrist, and he let go with a squeak.  
  
"Hey, you alright?" Wonsik hopped down the last two steps and placed his hands on Hongbin's shoulders, peering at his face. Of course Wonsik would be worrying about someone else after what had just happened.  
  
"I'm fine." Hongbin looked down at his shoes. "Are you okay, though?"  
  
Wonsik frowned. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be okay?"  
  
"I'm really fucking sorry I didn't tell you," Hongbin muttered, "but I really didn't know until just now—"  
  
"Tell me what?" Wonsik asked, puzzled.  
  
"T-that Hoseok had a boyfriend."  
  
"But I already knew." Wonsik was starting to sound confused. "Hoseok told me about Yoongi a while ago."  
  
"Really?" Hongbin looked up, searching his face. "Wait, that must’ve sucked. Shit, why didn't you tell me? You know—"  
  
"What?" Wonsik cut him off, completely bewildered. "Why would I be upset?"  
  
"B-because you like him," Hongbin muttered quickly. "Fuck, it's okay if you do, Wonsik, you don't have to pretend around me—"  
  
"Wait, _what_?" Wonsik coughed, spluttering. He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. "No no no no, you're wrong. I don't like Hoseok. Oh my god, I can't believe you thought—"  
  
Now it was Hongbin's turn to be confused. "But the coffee—you had so much in common—"  
  
"I mean, Hoseok's a great guy," Wonsik huffed, "but I don't like him like that."  
  
"You let him listen to your unfinished tracks, though," Hongbin continued. "And that song—he said it was about love."  
  
Wonsik choked and covered his face with his hands. Although it was late, Hongbin could see his ears turning pink in the pale light from the theater. "It was about love, just not for Hoseok."  
  
"Huh?"Hongbin demanded, frowning.  
  
"Um. I started writing it when I was—" he coughed, "upset over a misunderstanding and discovering a lot of things, but then Taekwoon-hyung really liked it, so he told me to keep going with it, and then something happened and Hoseok said I should make it a gift and then I realized I was wrong and thought, well this is a good chance to—" He sighed, shaking his head. "Never mind. I'll just have you listen to it."  
  
"Is it finished?" Hongbin eyed him as he pulled out his phone and a pair of earbuds.  
  
"No." he shook his head, blushing. "This is just the guide track I turned in."  
  
There were a few seconds of silence before the music and Taekwoon's soft singing started, providing a backing for Wonsik's rapping. Hongbin let the music wash over him. _Almost everyone knew the gist of the lyrics_ , Chansik had said. And apparently, it was about love, Hoseok had told him. Yet, as Hongbin listened to Wonsik spilling his thoughts, he realized that the one word barely encompassed how much affection and warmth Wonsik had poured into his words. For a brief few minutes, Hongbin closed his eyes to everything, the sparkling lights of the theater, the dancers passing by on the stairs, the dark trees looming behind him, and even Wonsik himself, scuffing his shoes in front of Hongbin, his face bright flushed, and let himself bask in the warmth of the voice in his ear.  
  
All too soon, the last note faded, and reality came rushing back. Hongbin reluctantly removed the earbuds and looked into Wonsik's expectant face.  
  
"That was beautiful," Hongbin said softly.  
  
Wonsik blinked and nodded, looking down. "Thanks."  
  
"You said it’s a gift, right?" Hongbin forced himself to say. "Who is it for?"  
  
Wonsik paused, coughed, and ran a hand through his hair. And then, in a voice so soft Hongbin almost missed it, "You."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Um," Wonsik looked up, staring in to Hongbin's gaping face. "It's okay, you don't have to answer. I just—I thought that you and Jaehwan-hyung were dating and I realized that I want to always be with you and I know we've been friends for a long time and it was selfish of me to say it but I really didn't want to keep secrets from you and—"  
  
He bit off his sentence abruptly when Hongbin placed his hands on the sides of his face. "You're not kidding? This isn't a joke?"  
  
Wonsik shook his head.  
  
Hongbin slowly removed one of his hands to pinch his own cheek. "Fuck, it's not a dream either," he said to himself, somewhat dazed. He looked back at Wonsik. "I like you too. I've loved you since high school."  
  
Wonsik looked like he was going to faint, so Hongbin held onto his waist. He opened his mouth, then closed it again when it seemed like nothing was going to come out. Finally, he took a deep breath, placing his hands on Hongbin's shoulders, and said in a shaking voice, "I'm going to hug you now. Is that okay?"  
  
Hongbin nodded vigorously.  
  
In a flash, Wonsik was standing impossibly close, his neck curving so his cheek was pressed to Hongbin's ear. One hand came up to stroke at his hair and the other one wrapped around him, pressing a warm spot into the small of his back. Instinctively, Hongbin stepped forward, squeezing out the air between them, and moved his hands from Wonsik's sides to encircle him, gently bending his head to fit into the crook of Wonsik's neck, nosing his warm skin.  
  
Wonsik pulled away until he was looking at Hongbin, his expression grave. He leaned in until the entire world was Wonsik—his long lashes, his glistening eyes (he'd always been so easily moved to tears), his long, straight nose, and his soft mouth, just slightly open as he stared in wonder, as if gazing upon Hongbin for the first time.  
  
"Can I kiss you?" Their faces were so close that the words hit Hongbin's lips, soft puffs of breath, before they reached his ears. Instead of answering, he carefully pushed forward, letting his eyes flutter shut, and pressed his mouth to Wonsik's, warm and sweet.  
  
Wonsik moved his hand down to cup the back of Hongbin's neck, pulling him in closer to occasionally scrape at Hongbin's lower lip with his teeth, the corners of his mouth threatening to tug up into a smile. Finally, they pulled away when Wonsik couldn't hold back his grin anymore. He leaned his head against Hongbin's shoulder and giggled into his neck until both of them shook with laughter.  
  
"Thank you for the song," Hongbin wrapped his arms around Wonsik's shoulders.  
  
Wonsik kissed Hongbin's jaw, cradling his cheek and brushing a thumb against his dimple. "Thank _you_ for loving me."

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. my first fic got very out of hand  
> 2\. congratulations if you made it all the way to here  
> 3\. i'm never going to get over that lr vapp where hongbin came to feed them and wonsik tried to talk through a mouthful of food
> 
> sorry if there are any inaccuracies i haven't experienced many of the things that happen in this
> 
> please don't ever drink that much in real life you will definitely not end up as well off as hongbin


End file.
